


Carpet burns

by ratfromasewer



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Another fic I don't know what to tag as, BDSM, Bad Dirty Talk, Break Up, Choking, Dom/sub, Exes, Explicit Sexual Content, Fights, Gags, Getting Back Together, I Tried, I wrote this in a hurry and it's shit, M/M, Rope Bondage, Smut, oh well kinda, what is my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:06:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6242374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratfromasewer/pseuds/ratfromasewer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You miss it.” Gerard spat out. His eyes were still burning and the warmth spread through his veins, making his hands shake. He knew he should’ve probably shut up and controlled himself, thrown Frank out like most of his friends had advised him to do if the guy ever showed up on his doorstep again, but Gerard let his instincts work against his rationality.</p>
<p>  It paid off, when he saw Frank nod almost like he was ashamed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carpet burns

Frank frowned at the sight of Gerard running his sweaty hands through his uncombed hair and hastily pacing around the livingroom like he was trying to exhaust his terror. It looked like almost as if something invisible was chasing Gerard, forcing his nervous steps into circles. Frank tried to tell patterns, evening his breath in the damp air of Gerard’s tomb-like apartment. The place, where Gerard had been hiding ever since the occurrence of the _thing_ two and a half months ago. _The thing_ that burned Frank’s sore throat wanting to be vocalized, but Frank really couldn’t turn it into words.

 

 It was so silent, Gerard didn’t speak a word and Frank couldn’t figure out anything to say. It was dark, Frank had to squint his eyes to tell the other’s figure from the walls. Frank was trying to decide whether or not regret coming.

  Frank hadn’t taken off his jacket, he was still standing by the door like waiting to be thrown out. And maybe he _did_ feel like running, too, but he couldn’t help but feel he might’ve owed Gerard just a little bit more than that.

 

“Mikey sent you”, Gerard stated, and it wasn’t really question but Frank nodded nonetheless. Gerard glanced at Frank over his shoulder and their eyes locked, Frank tried to catch his breath and Gerard tore off his look, blinking almost surprised and focusing on the floor again. Frank looked at Gerard’s back and for some reason he got a weird feeling that Gerard was smiling.

  When Gerard then turned around so he was facing Frank, his face remained somewhat expressionless.

 

“I’m fine. You can tell Mikey that, too.” Gerard rolled his eyes and Frank’s stomach ached in nostalgia, “because it’s apparently not enough that I tell him that at least fifteen times a day.”

 

“I dunno.” Frank shrugged, “Why do you think he feels like you need to?”

 

Gerard didn’t answer, he simply turned his back at the other again and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Frank staring at his shoes and not knowing what to do, only to return only seconds later and tossing Frank an object the younger man took a moment to recognize.

 

“You forgot it”, Gerard said when Frank numbly wrapped his hands around the brown beanie, gaining a wild ride of déjà-vu from how the soft fabric felt against his skin.

 

  He remembered vividly the day the two men had been killing time on mid-October’s foggy Jersey streets, and ended up wandering past a thrift shop that Frank had developed a habit of visiting in boredom. He had dragged Gerard in, bluntly ignoring his complaints about how he wanted to be outdoors since the weather was so great. Frank had wanted to mess with grumpy Gerard, noticing the beanie that had been laying in a pile of other clothes that looked like they were from an old lady’s basement. Jokingly, Frank had picked up the beanie and tip-toed to reach to put it on Gerard’s head, pulling it’s so it was covering the other’s eyes. Blinded, Gerard had swayed few careless steps, cursing but not helping but to laugh, and Frank had giggled only to almost instinctively wrap his arm around Gerard’s torso and brush a quick, nearly accidental kiss on Gerard’s open lips.

 

They had walked hand in hand after that, Frank stubbornly insisting to buy the beanie for Gerard just to mess with him and if he was honest, just to witness Gerard blush. Which Gerard had done, nudging his head in the crook of Frank’s neck and breathing softly against the scorpion Frank had gotten tattooed there.

 

  Frank missed the October and the thrift shop, the days and nights wasted in the same apartment they were currently standing like two statues, not knowing what the fuck had gone wrong and who was to blame for it.

  Winter had come.

 

“It was a gift”, Frank offered back the hat, shaking his head. “I want you to keep it, Gerard.”

 

The other seemed to have almost a physical reaction to his name dropping from Frank’s tongue as if it could still happen after the _thing,_ and everything that had went to shit.

 

Gerard blinked, nervously tugging his hands in the pockets of his jeans and swinging back and forward on his heels.

 

“I don’t want it.”

“Please” Frank asked almost softly, “It suits you and you fucking know it.”

 

The clock ticking on the wall behind Gerard was the only thing breaking the silence with its lazy ticks and tocks after Frank’s words had fell out his mouth. Gerard could almost feel a headache building up in the back of his head, and his hands didn’t stop sweating, and he hated how miserable he must’ve looked like to Frank, and he also hated himself for caring how Frank viewed him. Like it mattered.

 

“Are we done?” Gerard’s voice was almost hoarse, “Contrary to what seems to be the popular belief, I actually have shit to do.”

 

“I’m _sorry,_ Gerard.” Frank blurted out, taking a step forward almost unconsciously and putting the beanie on the drawer next to him, opening his palms almost like begging Gerard to hold them. “I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

 

It took Gerard a minute to figure out the words to say, the words he had wanted to say for a while but also knowing he was not brave enough to make the first move towards some kind of a closure. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted one. Maybe Gerard liked open wounds, because they were still full of possibilities and allowed him to pretend that everything could still return to what it had been, even though it was fairly obvious it probably couldn’t.

 

“You didn’t waste my time.” Gerard muttered. “That’s the last thing you did. You –“ He coughed, raising his eyes from the carpet to Frank’s eyes that were, shockingly for Gerard, full of uncensored fear.

“I understand.” Gerard mumbled.

 

“No.” Frank shook his head, scared, “No, you _really_ don’t. It was nothing, I… It was nothing in you that made me leave like that. God, I almost wish it was so I could blame this shit on you, but the truth is that it’s all on me.”

 

“Don’t say that, fuck”, Gerard took steps back, “Don’t say there’s nothing wrong with me when clearly you don’t think that.”

 

“I don’t.” Frank admitted, “But Gerard, I was prepared to deal with whatever there was.”

 

The black-haired man let out a hissing sound to dismiss Frank’s words that sounded so pained they nearly stung Gerard’s skin. Gerard hated not having a plan to follow. He needed something to hold onto, something certain to feel safe when it came to other people, but other people continued to confuse, charm and then fuck Gerard up like he was something just worth bruising and then been thrown away.

  And against his better judgement, Gerard couldn’t be angry at Frank. No matter how hard he had tried to awake some kind of rational reactions to being abandoned quite harshly and once again, played. But he couldn’t be mad at Frank, and all the time he had been gone Gerard had mostly just been sad, thinking about engraving his own skin full of the words he hadn’t gotten time to say.

  One of them was _thank you._

 

“Thank you.” Gerard mumbled.

 

“For what?”

 

“Shit…” Gerard rubbed his neck and Frank crossed his hands and tried to stand still even though his every nerve-ending was sending irrational commands to run, run and run, “…for taking what I could give. I – uh. I’ve never learned to give much.”

 

Frank stared at Gerard. His brain was having a fight with the words he had just heard, tackling them and screaming, _no, that’s not how it went_. Frank sincerely thought Gerard was the last person who needed to feel any kind of gratefulness towards Frank. Frank, who was immature, emotionally repressed and scared shitless of any kind of commitment.

 

“I’m the worst thing that could’ve ever happened to you”, Frank muttered, “And you’re _thanking_ me.”

 

“Shut up.”

  
“No, but really.”

 

“Shut _up._ ”

 

Something clicked in Gerard’s mind, flooding his bloodstream with unknown rage he could’ve been afraid of if he was in his senses. All the repressed anger he had chopped to pieces and hidden somewhere to protect himself from not hurting too much burst out of its cage and wrapped its cold hands around Gerard’s throat and lungs.

  Just as Frank was opening his mouth to speak back to Gerard, he was cut short.

 

“No, Frank” Gerard felt his guts finally starting to boil in frustration and burning his body inside out like wildfire, “I’m not thanking you for being the enormous piece of shit you undeniably were, dumping my pathetic ass via text while you were most likely already getting your small and diseased dick blown by some random twink in a shitty alleyway like it was not a big deal to throw away _I love you_ s and then just minimize the damage you had done to your massive ego by completely ridiculing your sex-hazed confessions. Taking it up the ass really makes you say things you don’t mean, doesn’t it? I’m a big boy, Frank. I don’t care, I don’t _fucking care_. I’m just thanking you for doing something that I haven’t experienced too many times in my laughable life, that being that you were there for me even when the colorful gang of my more or less diagnosed disorders was screaming hallelujah and driving me on a verge of drinking bleach. But hey, you were there and I’m kinda grateful so you have no fucking right to walk here and pretend like what you did to me doesn’t matter, ‘cause it really does and this might be hard for someone so self-absorbed as you to hear, but people like me rarely forget when someone treats them like a person.”

 

Gerard was panting like he had run. He didn’t even know where the words had come, but he knew that he had meant every single one which terrified him to the core. He hated himself when he was angry. Gerard hated a lot of things about himself.

 

Frank looked like Gerard had smacked him which gave a weird sense of satisfaction to Gerard. Frank’s wide, almost innocent eyes full of dread. Gerard didn’t know, if he had just ruined every single piece left, every possibility to ever become anything else than long-distance enemies. But he couldn’t find the energy to care.

 

“Gerard, I –“ Frank stuttered.

 

“You know what’s funny?” Gerard almost purred, eyes gleaming mean and turning the atmosphere electric, “You only ever told me you loved me when I was fucking you.”

 

“I… uh …”

 

“I didn’t _believe_ it, if that’s what you were afraid of. People tend to say funny things when they’re tied down and desperate to get off.” Gerard smiled, “fuck, I really liked making you wait, didn’t I.”

 

Frank felt dizzy and he was almost certain that he had passed out just imagining false scenarios, his brain playing shitty tricks. But the moment didn’t pass, Gerard’s eyes were suddenly darker than the room and looked at Frank in an almost predatory way, weighing him. Frank felt bare. Gerard’s words have hurt him, but for the fact he knew he had deserved them, he had liked hearing them. Gerard was tearing down his guilt, breaking down the wall between them, and Frank couldn’t help but want it. He wanted _them_ again, just like he had wanted the second he had pressed _sent_ after typing his mistake of a text.

  ( _I think we’re not working out anymore. I need a break. I’m sorry. You’re a great guy and deserve better.)_

“You miss it.” Gerard spat out. His eyes were still burning and the warmth spread through his veins, making his hands shake. He knew he should’ve probably shut up and controlled himself, thrown Frank out like most of his friends had advised him to do if the guy ever showed up on his doorstep again, but Gerard let his instincts work against his rationality.

  It paid off, when he saw Frank nod almost like he was ashamed.

 

“The really funny thing is that I miss it too.” Gerard let his eyes lazily watch Frank from head to toes, enjoying himself way too much when the other shuddered.

 

“Gerard, I –“

 

“Shut the _fuck_ up.” Gerard ordered, and just like that Frank closed his mouth and looked down obediently, “I’m talking now.”

 

Frank nodded once again. He was almost worried about the way his pants had begun to feel way too tight, like all he needed was to hear Gerard’s rough voice - which differed dramatically from his usual voice - to turn Frank ridiculously on.

  He figured that his roommate would probably not think anything of it if Frank was out for a night. He definitely didn’t feel like going home, assuming Gerard wanted him to stay.

 

“I miss fucking you, Frank.” Gerard smiled, “I miss how you used to _scream._ Christ, my neighbors _hated_ you.”

 

Gerard hadn’t come any closer to Frank, but the space between them seemed to be smaller anyhow. Neither of the men hadn’t wanted to move, lose their position. Gerard felt almost playful.

 

“If you want this again.” He considered every word carefully and smirked amused, when Frank squirmed impatiently, “Then you have to show how good you can be, because honestly, I haven’t been too impressed lately.” Gerard cocked and eyebrow: “What do you say?”

 

Frank raised his head, more than aware that Gerard was giving him a fair chance to run in case he wasn’t sure about this.

  Frank thought about it; how he’d turn down the offer, once again close the door behind him and most likely for the last time, walk home with his head held down. How he’d call Mikey and tell him that Gerard was doing alright and probably would continue to be more and more alright the further away Frank would stay from him. Mikey would most likely tell Frank that he was an idiot for ruining his every opportunity, and Frank would be stuck with his best friend’s words as he would get drunk on last week’s leftover Jack Daniels, walk to local shithole pub near his place, and wake up in someone closeted fucker’s bed with a blurry memory of highly unsatisfying sex. It would be hell and would continue to be until the memory of his mistake would slowly turn into only one more regret, and that would be that. Happy ever after.

 

“I can be good.” Frank didn’t sound too sure of himself, his words shaking a little when they left his lips.

 

They looked each other in the eyes, Gerard almost judgingly as Frank felt small and almost helpless in the other’s power. The clock was still ticking, messing with the sudden silence.

 

“Good luck proving that.” Gerard’s skin was tingling, little shocks making goosebumps, and his voice was sarcastic enough to make Frank shiver, “Get on your knees.”

 

Frank obeyed within seconds, dropping on his knees and biting his lip. The carpet felt uncomfortable against the skin of his knees, making him question how good of an idea it had been to wear his most ripped jeans. He experienced a moment of vanity, wondering if he was what Gerard had wanted to see. Frank’s hair was grown since the last time they had seen each other, it was long enough to be tied in a ponytail, but right now it was simply messy, like a mane of a lion, sticking in weird directions.

  Along with his jeans, Frank was wearing a white the Smiths t-shirt that had shrunk in the wash and was therefore a little tight around the shoulders, and a leather jacket.

  Frank felt like he had probably looked better, but Gerard didn’t seem to mind.

 

Like reading the other’s mind, Gerard yanked on Frank’s hair so suddenly that it drew a surprised intake of breath from the shorter man. This displeased Gerard, who was watching down on Frank with those same burning eyes that made Frank’s guts melt. Gerard bended Frank’s head back, admiring his neck and purposely pulling hard enough for it to hurt.

 

“Weird”, Gerard scoffed, “I remember you saying that you’d be good.” He leaned closer to Frank’s ear; “That includes you not making a fucking noise.”

 

Frank pressed his lips together like they were glued, nodding. His eyes were watering.

“Alright.” Gerard twisted Frank’s hair in his fingers thoughtfully, “Here’s how this is gonna work: you keep your mouth shut until I tell you to, and your hands to yourself as well. You can watch but not touch, unless I give you a permission.” Gerard was leaning close that his mouth was now really close to Frank’s ear: “Otherwise I’ll figure out ways to punish you. And you won’t like that, I can tell you that much.” He only nibbled Frank’s earlobe, making the other suffocate a gasp, “Sounds fair?”

 

“Not really” Frank breathed, not being able to stop his grin.

 

“Good. It’s not supposed to be fair.” Gerard smiled back, letting go of Frank’s hair as suddenly as he had grabbed it. Frank swayed forward, balancing himself with leaning his hands against the floor so that he was on all fours. As he was about to get back up, Gerard’s voice stopped him;

 “No. Stay like that.”

  Frank did.

 

Gerard left Frank for a moment, walking determinately to his bedroom with long steps like he was in a hurry. He flicked on the lights on the way, so that suddenly the lamp hanging from the room casted it’s pale and yellow light in the room. For some reason, Frank felt even more nervous now that he knew how well Gerard could see his every part.

  It didn’t even matter that Gerard had before. Frank felt like more than the obvious reasons, this time was going to be different.

 

“Take off your clothes” came Gerard’s new order from the bedroom. Frank didn’t know if he liked Gerard’s tone of voice or not. He sounded like he was onto something that Frank would most likely really hate and love at the same time.

  Frank did as he was told, hastily throwing off his jacket and pulling his t-shirt over his head. Just as he was unbuttoning his jeans with shaky hands, Gerard added;

 

“Except underwear.” He laughed, “Taking them off his _my_ job.”

 

 Frank kicked off his shoes and socks, wormed out of his jeans and tossed the pile of clothes behind Gerard’s couch. Then he repositioned himself back on the floor, staring at the bedroom door with feverish eyes, hair hanging in front of his face.

 

When Gerard returned, he was now hiding something behind his back. He glanced at Frank approvingly, taking his time with observing the familiar skin.

 

“You’ve gotten new ink.” The black-haired man said, in a reference to the portrait of Frank’s grandfather on Frank’s arm.

 

The statement wasn’t a question so Frank decided that it was smarter to stay quiet. He felt like Gerard was teasing him, trying to make him talk so that Gerard could then punish him rightfully. Frank didn’t want that, he wanted to proof that he could be good if he really tried.

 

“I like it”, Gerard smiled. He walked slowly in front of Frank, so close that his shoes were basically in between Frank’s hands. Frank tensed in anticipation. He didn’t exactly know what to expect but he trusted Gerard enough to know that it would probably be good in the worst kind of way.

  Gerard tangled his hand in Frank’s hair again, slowly and almost gently this time. He bended Frank’s head back so that he was now staring at Gerard’s face, mouth hanging slightly open and eyes wide and trusting.

 

“I figured” Gerard smirked, “that since you seem to have some trouble keeping quiet”, he took his hand from behind his back and there was a black and rather innocent-looking – even though Frank knew it was nothing but - ball gag, which Frank had also never seen before, hanging from Gerard’s hand, “…I’d make you a favor, and help.”

  Gerard tilted his head and looked at Frank, tightening the grip in his hair.

  “What do you say?”

  “Fuck _yeah_ ”, Frank panted. He could feel the blood in his veins rushing to between his legs, causing him to grip on the carpet more determinately.

 

“I thought so.” Gerard grinned and let go of Frank’s hair, proceeding to strap the ball into Frank’s open mouth behind his teeth, with the straps going around his head to secure it in place. Frank knew that he would still have to suffocate moans if Gerard wanted him to be completely quiet, but he was aware that if intended to talk, he would just end up drooling. The ball wasn’t too big or remarkably uncomfortable, but it did stretch his jaw to a point where Frank knew that he’d be sore as shit the next day.

 

“There.” Gerard seemed to be pretty proud of himself. “That’s better already.”

 

Gerard crouched so that he was now facing Frank. He looked at the shorter man smugly and ran his fingers along his jawline, almost like he was thinking. He then leaned in to leave a kiss in the corner of Frank’s mouth, only to trace a line of those same kind of small, almost innocent kisses down Frank’s cheek and jaw and then neck, towards his Adam’s apple. The hitch of Frank’s breathing increased and he shivered, but kept quiet.

 

“That’s better” Gerard repeated, “But that’s not quite enough, is it?”

 

He stood back up, returning to the bedroom like the best feeling in the world was to make Frank suffer. He wasn't exactly good at waiting.

Luckily, Gerard didn’t take long this time. He came back within minutes, this time not bothering to hide what he had gotten for himself from the bedroom. Now there was some rope in his hand, Frank estimated that it was most likely enough to tie his hands.

His guess turned out to be correct; Gerard seemed very focused when he walked over, gripped Frank’s wrists and tied them together like he had tied them many times before. Now, with this side of Gerard Frank was more familiar with; it hadn’t took him a long time to figure out what kind of things Gerard was into when they first had started to move to this part of their relationship.

Relationship, which was now history, Frank reminded himself. It just seemed a little bit too easy to forget about that when Gerard was tying him down almost just like old times.

  It was as good as Frank remembered it to be. He leaned on his now tied wrists, still on all fours and just waiting for Gerard to do what he wanted.

 

“That’ll do.” Gerard approved, looking down at the other man. He had crossed his arms across his chest and taken off his hoodie, now wearing only a white shirt that he had rolled up the sleeves of, and a black pair of jeans.

  He walked behind Frank, almost with lazy steps like he didn’t care that much, but Frank saw the bulge in the front of Gerard’s jeans and knew very well, that the other was just as hopelessly turned on as he was.

 

The first spank surprised Frank to a point where he almost groaned. Gerard’s palm had landed on the curve of his still boxer-covered ass without a single warning, and the shivers from the hit ran up Frank’s back all the way to his teeth. He bit the gag, deciding that if there were going to be more of this, he would definitely have to prepare himself to keep quiet.

 

“Look at you.” Gerard’s voice was full of syrup, “Almost as if you want to be hurt.”

 

Gerard played with the hem of the boxers but didn’t take them off yet, letting Frank adjust to the new situation before letting his hand down again, harder this time. Frank hissed and hoped that Gerard didn’t hear; his knees rubbed against the carpet and the rope around his wrists abraded his skin and he was overall uncomfortable, but for some reason he loved every second of it.

  Gerard palmed Frank’s dick through the boxers, making him drop his head down and close his eyes.

  Gerard pulled down the boxers quickly, not all the way off but enough to expose Frank entirely. Frank could already imagine the red marks on his ass.

 

Gerard hit him again, and again, and again, other hand rushing to Frank’s hair again and pulling his hear back up whilst he spanked the other sore. Frank’s feet and arms were trembling, struggling to hold his body still when he was being treated like this. If this was Gerard’s idea of playing nice, Frank really didn’t want to know what the punishment would be like.

  He bit on ball, not quite catching every moan that forced itself up his throat. His eyes were watering, the room turning hazy behind his fluttering eyelashes.

 

“This is exactly how I like you.” Gerard grunted, voice hoarse. His arm was getting tired but he didn’t get enough of the other’s body, tensing before every hit and then reacting as if Gerard’s touches were electric impulses in Frank’s nerve system pumping his bloodstream full of endorphin just for what Gerard was doing to him.

  “This is exactly how I like you. When you’re not so full of yourself.”

 

Gerard let his hand down for one more time.

 

“You were always so full of yourself.”

 

Frank would’ve disagreed out of pure stubbornness, but needless to say he was really not in a position of talking back right now. Instead he tried not to drool all over Gerard’s carpet, but a fine line of spit escaped his lips anyway, hanging there like a spider web.

  For whatever reason, Frank hoped he could’ve kissed Gerard. He really wanted to kiss the other man again, to wrap his hands around the others neck and drown in the smell of his hair. Frank missed kissing Gerard’s soft lips, he had missed it ever since they had officially broken up. Kissing Gerard had always been so intoxicating, numbing out the rest. Frank missed that kind of intimacy and gentleness.

 

“Fuck, you look nice.” Gerard’s voice was even lower now and Frank took the risk and turned his head enough to look at Gerard. For a second he was afraid of swallowing his tongue, realizing that Gerard had tucked his hand in his pants and was now clearly touching himself while staring down at Frank.

  Frank couldn’t help himself. He moaned.

 

It was supposed to be “please” but the gag muffled it into an incoherent noise, most definitely loud enough for Gerard to hear. Frank froze, realizing he had definitely fucked up, but Gerard didn’t look too bothered. There was sweat blistering on his forehead and he yanked his hand from his pants, proceeding to unbutton his shirt. When he had thrown off the shirt, he walked over to Frank, in front of him and ordered, almost angrily:

 

“Hands off the carpet. On your knees.”

  Frank lifted his shaking hands and straightened himself, barely staying balance. His head was buzzing. He could definitely feel the spanks, he could imagine the outlines of Gerard’s palm on his ass like bright red tattoos, just below _search_ and _destroy,_ the words which he had tattooed on his backside, the word _and_ being in the front.

  Frank was very fond of his ink.

 

“Can’t stay quiet, can you?” Gerard’s voice was venomous as his hand gripped Frank’s throat firmly, creating pressure and making it even harder for Frank to get oxygen.

  Frank tried to nod, to say _I swear I can,_ but Gerard didn’t let him.

 

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to be good.” Gerard squeezed harder, “You’re never good. Stand up.”

 

Frank did as he was told, shakily moving his legs until he was standing up, hands tied together in front of him helplessly, his boxers halfway down his thighs, spit hanging from his gagged mouth and hair brushed back from Gerard pulling on it.

 

Gerard pushed Frank, still another hand wrapped around his throat and another gripping his side. Frank took steps back to remain in balance and his back hit the wall, hurting him a bit when he was pushed against it and Gerard immediately going for his neck, not kissing this time; now Gerard’s teeth bit into Frank’s sensitive skin harshly and Frank could feel it leaving marks which would be pain to explain later.

 

Gerard worked in patterns; he bit and then he kissed the mark he’d left, coloring the whole length of Frank’s jawline with his teeth marks like he couldn’t have enough of the taste. Swirling his tongue gently around one of the marks, Gerard loosened his grip around Frank’s throat and allowed him to breathe properly again.

  Instead of his neck, Gerard’s hand now wrapped around Frank’s dick, pumping so that Frank felt like exploding.

 

“Enough of playing around.” Gerard bit on Frank’s ear, roughly trying to even his own breath against it, “I think I wanna fuck you now.”

  Frank moaned in agreement, deciding that maybe it was alright for him to respond. The desperate sound caused Gerard to grin.

 

“You just can’t get enough of screaming, can you.” Gerard ran his fingers through Frank’s hair almost lovingly, “Fine. Maybe I want that too. I’ll take off the gag, but with one very serious condition.”

 

  Frank nodded eagerly.

 

  “You don’t tell lies.” Something dark flashed in Gerard’s eyes, “If you tell me that you love me or anything like that, I will throw you out of this apartment without your clothes and you can walk naked all the way home. Understood?”

 

  Somehow Frank got the feeling that Gerard wasn’t messing with him. He nodded.

“Good.” Gerard reached to open the ball gag’s lock and dropped it on the floor, now glistening in Frank’s spit. Frank’s jaw felt tender and he took a deep breath, staring Gerard in the eyes. He felt like he needed to say something, but he couldn’t figure out what to say.

  Gerard leaned in for a kiss, finally breaking the silent agreement, and licked into Frank’s anticipating mouth. It was as good as Frank remembered it to be, or better. He kissed back with everything he had, only focusing on how familiar and plain _right_ Gerard’s lips felt against his own. They fit together, like this.

 

Gerard broke the kiss like he had started it, taking steps back and looking almost regretful for a second. Then he collected the character and spat out; “bedroom.”

  He didn’t wait for Frank, but walked there himself expecting the other to follow. Frank did, after stepping out of his boxers and taking a few, calming breaths just so calm down his nerves.

 

Gerard’s bedroom was like Frank remember it to be. His bed stood opposite the door, inviting Frank’s every cell. The floor felt cold against Frank’s feet, and he stood by the door waiting for Gerard to tell him what to do. He didn’t know what he wanted and how, only that he needed to be fucked so hard that he couldn’t even remember his own name. That’s exactly what he was in need of, and it was starting to look like he was really about to get what he wanted.

 

“On the bed.” Gerard ordered from the corner of the room, “Hands and knees. Don’t make me ask twice.”

  Frank gulped. He knew what Gerard wanted; it was almost the most typical characteristic of angry fucking with Gerard. No eye-contact, nothing gentle or nice.

 

“Go on, what the fuck are you waiting for?” Gerard sounded impatient. He was standing by the closet on the left side of the bed, watching Frank and frowning. Frank shook off his thoughts and hurried to climb on the bed, little clumsily since his hands were still tied, and positioned himself like Gerard had asked.

  The sheets were softer than the carpet, and soothed Frank’s skin. He was aching all over, both physically and in the mental sense.

 

“That’s more like it”, Gerard muttered, under his breath. He unbuttoned his jeans and stepped out of them before leaning to get something from the closet. Frank waited almost worried, what else Gerard could’ve possibly come up with to torture Frank.

  Frank got his answer; it was a blindfold.

 

“This?” Gerard noticed Frank looking at the thing in his hand and smiled, but there was nothing warm about his smile, “Yeah. Just because I want to fuck you doesn’t mean I want you to look at me, so…” he gestured at his nearly naked body almost sarcastically, “Take a good hard look, now.”

  He walked over to Frank and slipped the blindfold over the long-haired man’s eyes, professionally like he had done everything else. _Art school teaches you things, Frank._

 

“Gerard?” Frank breathed.

“Yeah?” Gerard’s voice was almost irritated. Frank could hear how he pulled down his boxers.

 

“Please make it hurt.”

 

Gerard didn’t reply. He simply joined Frank on the bed, the blindfolded one sensing how the other’s weight made the mattress sink a little bit. The next thing he knew was that Gerard had gripped his ass, pressing his fingers skillfully just where he had hit, and Frank felt waves of pain coursing through him.

  He moaned, long and drawn-out, not bothering to censor it even if it was a little bit too loud. Gerard hummed.

 

“Make it hurt, huh?” He ran his fingers up Frank’s back, nails scratching his skin, “Like this?” He grabbed Frank’s hair and pulled back. Frank had almost forgotten how into that Gerard really had been. And now there was even more hair for him to pull.

 

“Yeah” Frank panted. “Fuck yeah.”

 

“Alright.” Gerard agreed, leaving the bed once again. It didn’t really take a rocket scientist to figure out what he had gotten up to get, and Frank’s thoughts were confirmed once again when he heard the little pop sound which he knew to be result of opening a bottle of lube.

  Gerard returned.

 

For a moment there was just two heavy breaths and bumping hearts mixing with each other’s sounds, before Gerard spread Frank’s ass cheeks, making him whimper “Oh _god_ ”, and circled the others entrance, pushing in softly.

The finger burned at first, but quickly turned and twisted into an obscure kind of pleasure Frank knew all too well.

When the finger was in up to his second knuckle, Gerard moved it, searching for the spot that would make Frank make those noises he couldn’t stop thinking about. And he did, successfully causing Frank to lean forward to ease Gerard’s access and stutter: “Je- _jesus._ ”

  The blindfold’s downside, Frank definitely thought, was that he liked seeing Gerard when they were fucking. That’s why he had always preferred laying on his back when he was bottoming – which was majority of the time since they had figured that worked for the both of them better – but right now, being denied his eyesight brought a certain kind of aspect of dirtiness into the sex, which Frank really loved.

 Gerard completed the process, getting two fingers in and rubbing them over Frank’s prostate.

 

  “Fuck me” Frank panted, “I can take it, I know I can.” His voice filled the whole room, it was thick and desperate, almost pained.

“Sorry, what was that?” Gerard teased, kissing Frank in between his shoulder blades. It was unnecessarily sweet, he thought seconds too late, but Frank was way beyond caring. He was just a trembling mess, heat radiating from his sweaty skin and his hot breaths turning into sighs halfway through, hands gripping on the sheets, knuckles whitening. He couldn’t see, but he heard everything, and every little sound made him feel like he was bursting at the seams.

 

“Fuck _me,_ Gerard, Oh god.”

 

“You have to speak up, or I can’t help.” Gerard mumbled softly, slowly pulling out his fingers and making Frank whine at the loss, “Maybe you want me to stop?”

 

“Please don’t stop” Frank moaned, aware that Gerard was just trying to piss him off but being quite desperate nonetheless, “Fuck me. Please.”

 

And then Gerard was pushing in already, Frank’s needy _please_ s and _fuck_ s and _Gerard_ s trailing off into moans as he opened up around Gerard’s dick, stretching wider.

When he reached the certain – very good, Gerard thought – point, he stopped for a few seconds, letting Frank feel just how much it could burn. With the lube, Gerard was careful not to use too much, Frank’s request still occupying him. And if he was honest, he _did_ want to hurt Frank a little bit.

And from the sounds Frank was making Gerard could tell that it did hurt. Not in the worst way, though, but in the way that had uninvited tears soaking through the blindfold. Frank’s mouth was hanging open and he was making so much noise, so much that Gerard knew for a fact that his neighbors were definitely planning on bloody murder, but he didn’t have the brain to care.

   Gerard pushed in once again, gripping on Frank's hips and his slick dick opening Frank right up. Gerard was fucking him hard and steady with deep thrusts that were slowly sending Frank to his limits. There’s so much a man can take when he’s being fucked, and Frank was definitely on the edge. He ached to be touched but his hands were still useless, so he tried to let Gerard know but he didn’t even have to before Gerard was stroking him, long, slow strokes.

It didn’t take too much; just a few strokes and Frank was already crying out and spilling over his stomach and Gerard’s hand, feeling like his bones were melting and his brains were dripping down from his ears.

 Gerard came inside him, not soon after, collapsing on Frank’s body with a heavy: “ _Frank_ , _fuck_ ”.

 

For quite a while they just laid there, Frank still enjoying the darkness created by the blindfold, bliss and ache and soreness screaming out in his every cell like he had screamed out moments before. Gerard ran his hand in Frank’s hair almost like he didn’t mean to do so, but he did anyway, tired and drained.

 

“Hey.” Frank spoke against the pillow, “I don’t tell lies.”

 

“Really?” Gerard nearly giggled, “ _This_ is how you wanna have this conversation?” He nudged closer to Frank, almost shy, and slowly opened the tie around his wrists and taking off the blindfold. Frank adjusted to the light, and focused his eyes on Gerard, little wrinkles of laughter in the corners.

 

“Oh, you know me.” He smiled, “I never want to have any important conversations. I just run.” Frank was maybe smiling, but he didn’t look happy at all. Gerard swallowed, noticing that his anger that had built up earlier was just a faint shadow of itself, freeing his body from its grip. Gerard sighed.

 

“Hey, listen. I –“ Gerard stroked Frank’s hair and made the younger man look at him, “I’m not really that angry anymore. Really.”

 

“You should be.” Frank turned on his back and stared at the ceiling while Gerard dropped the rope and the blindfold on the floor next to bed, getting under the covers to protect his skin from the stinging air.

 

“Maybe” Gerard uttered a laugh, “But since when have I ever acted like I should.”

Frank grinned, joining Gerard under the covers and wiggling closer to his body cautiously almost like he was afraid of being pushed away. He wasn’t, Gerard wrapped his arm around Frank’s shoulder and pulled him closer until the shorter wan was leaning against Gerard’s chest and listening to his heartbeat through his skin and ribcage. Frank let all of his muscles ease, closing his eyes and drowning in the smell he had missed.

 

“I’m sorry I ran.” Frank mumbled. He thought if there was a way to explain, what kind of a mess of static mind and nervous breakdowns he had become since he had decided to leave Gerard before they had gotten too close of each other. Frank was terrified, he had always been. He still was. But Gerard’s hand around him, it felt alright for now.

 

“I know you are.” Gerard muttered. “And I’m sorry too, for not being easy to care about.”

 

“It’s alright. And Gerard?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I don’t tell lies.”

**Author's Note:**

> wow this is really shit and I don't know that in what point exactly I became that one kid who writes nothing but mediocre porn but you're welcome I guess


End file.
